Are you afraid of being found out?

Do you sometimes wonder why people can’t see right through you? That they’re bound to find out sooner or later that you’re only masquerading as a competent leader – you really haven’t got a clue what you’re doing?

Like my coaching client Leon* who’d just been promoted to Senior Director when we started working together. His first words to me were, “I’m freaking out!”.

Even though he’d already been a Director for a while, stepping up to a bigger role was pressing all his buttons. The Voice in his Head was saying, “You don’t deserve to be here”, “What have you got to contribute?”, “What if you cock it up?”

The futility of reassurance
When you tell people how you feel, they’re likely to adopt A Look of Incredulity and say something along the lines of, “But look at what you’ve done/achieved/how successful you are? How can you think like that? You’re amazing!”

Much as this is very nice and may give you a temporarily Warm Fuzzy Feeling, if you have a case of Impostor Syndrome, the words likely just bounce off you and make no difference whatsoever to how you feel.

Noone has a clue what’s going inside you
I doubt that you see your fear of being “found out” as a positive thing, and it’s certainly not pleasant to feel worried and fearful all the time.

Yet, it’s worth considering how your fear has been taking care of you up to now. It’s been driving you to work harder, strive for excellence and take feedback on board.

Ironically, it’s been making you even more likely to make you successful and even less likely to be an “impostor”.

People probably have no idea of the turmoil inside you because you’re so good at what you do (theoretically – I know you don’t believe me!). You’re adept at getting the job done without giving any outward signs of disturbance.

You’re a bit like a swan gliding on a lake – serene on the surface and paddling furiously underneath.

It’s normal to feel like this, and there’s nothing wrong with you
Impostor syndrome is a term coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Clance and Imes to refer to high-achievers who live in persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud, putting their success down to luck, timing or what they perceive as others’ incorrect assumption about their competence.

But “syndrome” makes it sound like something you can’t do anything about, like an incurable disease – you think you just have to put up with it and feel crap.

If there’s one thing I’d love you to take away from this article, it’s this : You might feel like an impostor but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.

It’s completely normal when you’re stepping up to a new leadership role or facing a new or complex challenge to have an “episode” of impostor syndrome.

Your brain doesn’t like uncertainty and the unknown because when we were wandering around on the savannah, it didn’t pay to be complacent about the possibility of wild, hungry animals lurking in the bushes that might like to eat us for dinner.

What’s really behind what you’re feeling is that pesky Voice in Your Head saying things like :

“You don’t deserve to be here” or “Any moment now, people are going to realise you haven’t a clue what you’re doing.”

You might also be feeling anxious and panicky, because your fight or flight response has been triggered by the prospect of the new challenge you’re facing.

This makes The Voice in Your Head even louder, making it even harder to believe that you deserve to be here.

This is what you can do about it. Firstly :
Tell that pesky voice to bugger off and replace it with something more empowering.

Which of the following makes you feel better?

“I don’t deserve to be here. I’m going to be found out at any moment.”
or …
“I’ve been promoted because I’m good at what I do and people believe in me.”

Yep. Number Two every time. I know it’s hard to spot the gatecrashers in your head, but remember they are just unhelpful, unfounded thoughts that you can replace with more empowering ones.

And only you can do it.

Secondly :
Reach out to your manager and ask them to tell you why you were promoted. This is what Jane*, a new FD, did. She’d thought her promotion was just convenient because someone had left.

When her manager told her all the reasons why he believed she deserved to be a Director, she was bowled away and it really helped her confidence. Unfortunately, I find leaders are often promoted with minimal explanation.

Thirdly :
Focus on why you want to be in a leadership role and the impact you want to make. What’s more important than the fictional Voice in your Head and worrying what you think other people are thinking about you?

You’re not an impostor : you’re a leader getting ready to launch.

*Leon and Jane are fictional Directors based on real-life clients