Overthinking? How to get out of your head and into action
Years back, I played distance chess with a lovely elderly chap called James. We exchanged moves on email and I’d update these on a chessboard permanently set up on top of my piano.
It was a little while before I found out that James didn’t use a real-life chessboard like me – he held our games entirely in his head! Extraordinary. And he always beat me.
Chess entails anticipating the consequences of your moves and thinking a few moves ahead. Keeping it all in your head is no mean feat.
The curse of the “what ifs”
It makes me think of many of the leaders who come to me struggling with overthinking. Faced with an important decision or situation, they try to anticipate every eventuality for fear of getting it wrong. The more they think about the “what ifs”, the more they go round in circles in their heads.
Kay*, a newly promoted Director, told me she got so caught up in her head ruminating about decisions that she struggled to be present at work or at home. Not to mention creating a bottleneck for her colleagues because she was holding back from taking action.
You can see why some chess games have timers!
Thinking good, overthinking bad
Thinking about what we’re going to do before we do it is a sensible strategy to keep ourselves safe. Our ability to think evolved with our need to move – for example, how to swing through trees at speed or how to remember how to get home after a hunting expedition. As one neuroscientist puts it, movement is simply too dangerous to attempt without a plan.
However, this becomes a problem when, like Kay, thinking becomes a vicious circle, taking up headspace and getting in the way of moving forward.
How to stop going round in circles
If this is something you struggle with too, here’s four tips to help you get out of your head and into action :
- Turn down the noise. Overthinking is usually a sign that your fight or flight response is activated – your radar for potential threats is on overdrive. Sit up straight, place both feet on the floor and breathe into your belly to help you feel calmer and think more clearly.
- Move. Taking a walk or doing some other sort of exercise is proven to help you think better. Quoting leadership experts Carolyn Coughlin and Jennifer Garvey-Berger, “Evolution prepared us to move, and our modern world tells us to just sit down and think about things”.
- Write it down. Instead of trying to hold it all in your head, get a pen and paper and write down what you’re worried about. Ask yourself what assumptions you’re making, what’s within your control and what you need to let go of.
- Reach out. Don’t try to figure it out on your own. Who can you have a conversation with to talk through what you’re grappling with?
