Putting off things that feel hard? me too!
What I call the “too hard” box has been coming up a lot in coaching conversations recently.
The Finance Director who knows he needs to get started on a project as soon as he’s had the stakeholder meeting. But the deadline’s a month away so it feels so much better to put it off.
The Operations Leader who has an important piece of work to do. But it’s so complex that she loses motivation. So she picks things on her to-do list that are easy to tick off and give her a sense of achievement.
I’ve recently come up against my own “too hard” box : I’ve been building Alison AI, a personalised AI coaching tool.
I did the mammoth task of uploading all my content – methodology, book, webinars, blogs. But I kept procrastinating on actually testing my AI by asking it questions – which is the point of the whole thing!
So what’s going on?
I think there’s two main things at play here. Let’s start with that old chestnut, the F Word. What I mean is, of course, fear.
The F Word strikes again
The Finance Director got a sense of freedom by not getting started straightaway. But, digging deeper, we discovered that the longer the lead time, the more important the project felt and the greater his fear that he would lose his reputation if he didn’t do it perfectly.
No wonder he was procrastinating.
When I look at my resistance to testing my AI, I was afraid that the responses it gave me wouldn’t be good enough and that would mean a lot more work – definitely in the “too hard” box.
But if I’m honest, I was afraid that inadequate responses from the AI would be a sign that I wasn’t good enough, rather than just a sign that the process is more challenging than it first appeared.
Built for comfort
Here’s the second thing that I see diverting us from our “too hard” boxes.
For our ancestors, survival was at the top of the list. Which basically meant finding food, having sex, and avoiding being eaten. Once we started living in close-knit tribes, our brain got a software upgrade to give us self-control – essentially our prefrontal cortex.*
Unfortunately, this upgrade is dumped on top of our old operating system which gets a dopamine hit when it even thinks of a possible reward or opportunity. These days, our smartphones do a great job helping us get our hits.
In summary, we’ve evolved to avoid discomfort – the “too-hard” box – and take the easy path. It makes complete sense that the Ops leader redirected her attention to things she could tick off.
Three hacks for tackling the “too hard” box
1. Just do it
Force yourself to take action. For me, it was putting my Big Girl Pants on and asking my AI a series of questions. The response from my AI was disappointing, but it’s cleared the way for me to work out what needs to happen to get it how I want it.
The Finance Director committed to getting his initial thoughts on paper directly after a meeting. That way, he’s interrupting unhelpful rumination and freeing up headspace for other projects.
2. Get comfortable with discomfort
As I’ve been reminded building Alison AI, difficulty isn’t a reflection on my ability – it’s just part of the process of achieving a challenging goal.
An important tactic for me when I feel like I’m wading through treacle is to remind myself why I’m building it and what the benefits will be when it’s launched.
3. The Ten Minute Rule
If you’re getting distracted, try the neuroscience-based Ten Minute Rule*. When you have the urge to do something which is taking you away from what you intended – for example, reaching for your phone when you’re wading through a board report – set a timer for 10 minutes and keep going.
If you still want to satisfy the craving after 10 minutes, do it, but you’ll likely find by then that the urge has passed.
And finally…
This quote from Stoic philosopher Seneca sums up how we make things seem harder than they are by putting them off : “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare – it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”
*Check out my article Surf the urge to find out more, referencing Dr Kelly McGonigal’s book The WillPower Instinct
Related articles :
Surf the urge
Fear of failure? The risk is smaller than you think.
Procrastination : the ultimate in perfectionism?
